Saturday, September 15, 2012

About Rituals

I recently read these two great posts:

Secret Rituals   

Not So Sectret Rituals (part one)

Yes, I am eagerly awaiting part two of Not So Secret Rituals

 I am a routine type person.  I love having routines!  I get SO much more done when I have a routine.  I feel better and more secure when I have routines.  I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom, routines are essential in us getting things done because there is no one here to enforce things.  It’s easy to play hooky from school and let chores slide and just hang out in jammies and watch tv all day.  My kidlets would love that! 

Right now I have a checklist that I use every day with all three of us, myself included.  We have the morning checklist, then do school, the afternoon checklist, the dinner check list, and the bedtime checklist.  It’s the only way I have found for me to get things done.  A checklist and a routine, every day.  Well, every school day.

With ttwd, we started with a routine of me spending 30 minutes laying over his lap and talking.  It had no connection to spanking.  It was just something we did almost every night in the beginning.  (My 30 Minutes)  During this time, I kept track of this and spankings for a month.  At the end of the month, I was feeling very unsettled, even though I was getting plenty of spankings.  When I looked at my tracking sheet, my otl time had decreased to almost nothing.  I was unsettled because a ritual I had counted on was gone.

All of our spankings happen at night after the kidlets are settled for the night.  Typically, Captain and I go to bed after the kidlets go down for reading time.  We talk real-life stuff while we wait for reading time to be over.  Then we wait some more.  Then Captain makes one last round making sure everyone is settled and hopefully asleep.  This is more to reassure me that they are indeed in bed.  I tend to be a bit paranoid, lol.  Then, if there is to be a spanking, he leads me by the hand to the desk.

That’s it.  Would I like more ritual before, during, and after a spanking?  Yes.  Absolutely.

But it is also a control thing for Captain and I…well, namely me.  In the beginning, I made the mistake (several times over) of trying to ‘script’ spankings, complete with all the rituals I thought I would want.  And since I am not in control this time, I may suggest, but he decides.  And he hasn’t really decided any more than leading me by the hand. 

Truthfully, I’d like a ritual, something small, that we do most every night, that doesn’t necessarily have to do with spanking…but everything to do with our connecting on a ttwd level.  His dominance/HoH-ness and my submissiveness.  We get so busy, that connecting on that type of level is hard for us sometimes.  I think I would find comfort in that.  And of course I’d like some rituals for when there is a spanking, lol.


  1. Sounds like you are very organized and really need that routine in your life, so it only makes sense that you would really like that for you and the Captain as well. Something just the two of you do. But you are right, you can make suggestions but ultimately I would want DH to set something. :D

  2. I wonder if rituals might take some of the spontaneity out of it for you? Because you are so organized? Hmm...

    1. I think it would *if* I were in charge...but I am not, so Captain tends to throw me curve balls quite often, lol.

  3. Wow Kate - you are one organized lady. I wish I could be more like you......I am a fly by the seat of my pants, kind of girl.
    I can certainly see how ritual and routine would be a perfect fit for you. Ian is that way - he works mini rituals into his life everywhere (and they sort of drive me a little nuts sometimes) not surprising he had a system in no time.
    Your Captain seems like he is very intuitive to your needs, you two sound great together. :)

    1. Thanks :-)
      I sometimes drive Captain nuts with my routines. I am not very adaptable or flexable when I have a plan. It is something I really need to work on.

  4. If you’d like a tool for managing your time and projects, you can use this web-application inspired by David Allen’s GTD:

    You can use it to manage and prioritize your goals, projects and tasks, set next actions and contexts, use checklists, and a calendar.
    Syncs with Evernote and Google Calendar, and also comes with mobile version, and Android and iPhone apps.