Monday, September 17, 2012

The Guy Speak Letter

Before I approached Captain about bringing ttwd back into our lives again, I spent a couple of days reading.  We had tried so many times before, and failed.  And our marriage was in terrible shape.  We were on the brink of ‘either this gets better or we consider separating’.  It was not an easy place to be.  Before I talked to the Captain, I did some reading…okay a LOT of reading.  I knew that we could not afford to fail again.

I found Mick’s Blog Husbandly Touch  (Husbandly Touch).  I spent the entire day reading it from first post to last.  I appreciated the ‘guys’ point of view.  I don’t think I had ever truly realized how hard it is for the husband to step up.  I enjoyed reading their journey over the span of a few of years. 

I found this post A Letter to the HOH (Letter to HOH).  It was everything I wished I knew how to say…but put into ‘guy speak’. 

Reading Mick’s Blog totally changed my perception of how to approach Captain…and it has worked so much better this time.  For the first time, it feels like ttwd is benefitting us both.  Captain has stepped up in ways I never dreamed.  And I’ve found a level of respect and submission that I didn’t know was in me.

When Captain started reading, I suggested he start with Husbandly Touch and read it ALL before anything else.  And while I am mildly concerned Captain may become as strict and consistent as Mick is, I am also sure that it will benefit both of us…again.

So Thank You so much, Mick, for your writing, your wisdom, and your wonderful sense of humor. 


  1. Hi Kate,
    You and I found a very similar road to domestic discipline, because it was Mick that helped Ian and I figure things out. We were in a very bad place, I had approached him with the subject of dd, and he had loved the idea, but was confused and unsure of what the physical side of things had to do with anything. I was a mess, having to be obedient to a husband that sure I was developing BDSM tendencies.
    I wrote Mick a long and whining comment and he provided concrete and helpful information that Ian and I shared. It changed everything.
    Later, when I felt scared by some of the things that were happening and I couldn't talk to Ian, I contacted Mick again and he helped once more.
    Mick encouraged me to start blogging. :)
    Ian came to respect Mick's opinion, and that was through the HOH letter you describe. I copied it and asked him to read it at the very beginning of things. He did a great deal of reading on Mick's blog and it has been very helpful.
    Mick has never given me bad advice, sometimes I don't like it, and I have argued back to the computer - but he has never been wrong.
    When I can't ascertain what my husband is feeling about dd or why he is doing things, Mick knows. And he is a good guy, he is willing to help when he doesn't have to be bothered.
    I wish we knew Lynda a little better, but what we do know of he, she sounds like a creative and loving wife. :)
    You and your Captain sound like you are on the right track. I am glad Mick had a positive influence on your marriage, like ours, and I second your thank you.....
    I feel bad that I have never formally done so as well. Thanks Kate. :)

  2. Thanks for the nice words, Kate. Glad I helped. But the credit is all yours for your success