Sunday, September 9, 2012

About Migraines

When I have migraines, it’s really hard for Captain to know what to do.  I think I am finally, finally beginning to understand how hard it is for him.  During this migraine, he’s asked me a LOT of questions about what I am feeling…and what I might need/want as far as ttwd.

It’s so hard because it varies so much.   My emotions really (read: REALLY!) swing with the bad migraines.  I go from VERY irritable to silent.  Occasionally, clingy and weepy.  And the inability to concentrate drives me NUTS!  The kidlets can ask the simplest question, and I can’t think of what to answer and get overwhelmed so easily.  I really feel for my family during these times. 

Captain has asked me a TON of questions about spankings during this time.  And, I have tried to answer the best I can without biting his head off.  Sometimes I can’t think what to answer and sometimes I don’t know the answer.  Trying to put into words what I think or feel is just a staggering task when I can’t concentrate.

I do appreciate that he’s asking questions.  In the past, he’d be supportive but not HOH-ish and definitely no spanking.  I think he thought because I was already in pain…I didn’t need more.  He’s much more proactive now that I’ve got out of his way of being HOH.  His questions had the tone of what do you need from a spanking, not IF there would be a spanking. 

I told him as best as I was able and I think he got the picture very well because I got a doozie (doozy??) of a spanking last night (will post about that later).  And it was everything I needed it to be.  And I do feel much better today.  He gave me the ability to cope with the pain and the swinging emotions.  He gave me security in that he is here and he does care.  And he will give me whatever I need, whether it be a hug, a cuddle…or a spanking.
(I wrote this Friday, but am just now posting it.)

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