Thursday, September 27, 2012

Just because I needed more...

Saturday Night

This weekend, I was able to collect on my prize of a back rub…with only 16 swats, with the implement of my choice.  Happy, contented, sigh.

I always get a warm up when I am across the desk.  So the Captain did that with our blue cane.  Then I chose the white cane.  After dutifully counting (the verdict is still out on how I feel about counting), it was done.  Over. 

I was shocked.  I felt lost.  Empty.  Like part of me was missing.  Like…like something was unfinished…

UGH!  I needed more.  I knew it.  Captain knew it.  I recognize it, but hate it at the same time. 

Back over the desk I went.  I got many, many more sets of 16 swats BUT I got to pick the implements for each.  This wasn’t for any other reason than I just needed it.

Then I lay across our bed, with a very hot, red bottom and got the most delightful back rub.  Makes a nice picture doesn’t it?


  1. Knowing what you want, Communicating what you want. Experiencing what you want.
    What is better than that?

  2. Sometimes my emotions are so deeply locked behind a thick cement wall that it takes that sting, sometimes intensely, to shake them loose and unravel them. It is as if my husband has to dig deeply inside of me and drag them out. If he did not, he could not reach me. He never had a way before. I hate it, am shocked by my stubbornness and fear of vulnerability, but so grateful he has a way to love and penetrate me that he did not have previously. I, in turn, am shocked and deeply moved that he loves me that much. I understand your need for " more." : )

  3. You and your Captain seem to have very good communication, Kate. That is so nice when it comes to these things. :)