It drives the Captain crazy because we argue/squabble. She baits me, and I can’t stand to not have the last word. She’s disrespectful and rebellious. I beat a dead horse. She has great ideas and plans. I wonder at her common sense…or lack thereof. She loves to say outlandish things just to get me going. She attacks when I am emotional. I hound and nag when she is defiant.
Until now, the Captain has left the room. I was not of the mind to take direction from him. And thought his intervening was interfering. So he’s left us alone to duke it out verbally. This has not led to peace in the house.
The other night, things were getting out of hand. She and I were disagreeing. Loudly. Captain looks at both of us and says in that HOH tone “You both need to chill. Now.” We both look at him. She thinks he’s mad. I think he’s HOH-y. I make a parting shot and leave. Captain talks to her.
Later that night, Captain and I were discussing the situation. We agreed upon a great solution. When this starts, (he usually sees it coming before I do), he’s going to tell me to go sit on our bed. Tell, command, order. Firmly. In front of dd. And I will obey. Immediately.
Then he is going to talk to her. In a calm, controlled manner, something that I am incapable of in the moment. I trust him to defend my honor (state the need for her to respect me), lol. And to make a good decision on whatever the problem is.
After he is done with her, he will come in and see me. And he will lead me to the bathroom, take down my pants and panties, and give me a short but thorough bottom tanning. This is not punishment. It will be to enable me to let it go. Totally let it go.
Yes, she will know something is up. She will see her father give her mother an order AND her mother obey. And I don’t care a bit. If it stops the bickering between her and I, I am all for it. And it can only benefit her and I if we’re not at each other’s throats in conflict.
She’s seen the difference in our marriage. She knows things were really bad…and now they’re not. She knows we’re working on communication. She knows that I am actively trying to show him more respect and follow his leadership. She knows he is more attentive and talkative with me. She knows we “smoke swap” (kiss…we watch Jane and the Dragon, and the term stuck, lol) much more often. She knows our marriage is much stronger than it was three months ago. And she likes the changes she’s seen.
So, if she has to see her father give her mother a command, and her mother go against every instinct (I do not walk away easily) and obey it…then so be it! I have NO plans to tell her about the spanking/discipline part. I just don’t care if she knows I obey him. I'd rather her wonder at that than continue the fighting.