Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Where We Are and Where We are Heading

I read Stormy’s Post about One Month from Two Years (One Month from Two Years) 

I loved her list.  It’s so many of the things I have recently found with Captain and so many I hope to find.  Things rekindled after years without…anything.  We didn’t fight.  We didn’t yell or scream.  On the surface, we looked fine.  *If* you didn’t look too hard. 

It was easy to excuse my sleeping elsewhere because of my extreme insomnia and his snoring.  We were pleasant.  We could maintain a friendly conversation about kids/house/finances.  But I had more interaction with the checkout lady at Wally World than I did my husband.  I felt like a stranger in a house with someone that I was raising kids with.

WOW!  How things have changed in two months!


We laugh more…and we laugh together

We forgive. (And I am working on the forgetting part)

We talk a LOT more.

We have peace when we’re together

When he speaks, I listen (And I am working on the making changes part)

When I speak, he listens and actually HEARS me

We’ve learned to talk things out (And I am working on not shutting down or building walls)

We sleep in the same room, in the same bed

I have a blog…and he reads it…AND other blogs

We spend more time together…and ENJOY that time

We have rekindled the friendship that was lost

My lists are actually getting done…and he helps

Disagreements are talked out, not left to fester. 

I was disappointed when summer vacation was over, not glad to see him go back to work

“Yes, Sir” is said much more often and with respect.

I listen when he talks (Working on stopping what I am doing and giving him my full attention)

Our kids see us “smoke-swapping” now (Jane and the Dragon for kissing!)

Lying across his lap is a safe place, and I am there often, just for us to talk

I do not read to block him out

I have learned that he means it when he says I am not allowed to shut down
We’re working on baby steps together, rather than walking away from each other

He asks how my day went…and really wants to know

I kneel by his chair in the living room just to talk with him

I know there’s still a lot of work to do, and that new problems will come. And I know that things won’t always go well with ttwd. But I feel like Captain and I are on the same team again. We’re not on separate teams, in different leagues, in different countries. We’ve found a way to fight together against outside forces.
So for right now, I am not going to borrow trouble…but enjoy the ride. . .we've came a long way in just a few months.


  1. That is so nice, Kate - dd is amazing isn't it? It just changes everything. I love that you two are communicating so well -that is not our best thing - Ian and I, but it sure is nice when it happens.

  2. I couldn't agree more. It is the best life, that I never knew possible. I told my husband that I always knew that he loved me, but now I FEEL that love :)

  3. I am amazed at what ttwd has done for us in just the past month. I didn't think we had any problems in our marriage. We've always been a team. But now it's so different. It's infinitely better. We are so close now. So far it's been a miracle.
    Glad to see its working out well for you and your relationship with Captain! (((hugs)))

  4. I'm glad DD is working so well for you. Continued good wishes on your journey.

  5. This was nice Kate. Isn't it amazing how many changes we can see in such a short time when we stop and think about it. Remember this, especially when you have a discouraging moment! You guys are doing amazingly well.