I have to work very hard at not pushing. I am a micro manager by nature…and I don’t like getting caught by surprise. But I do feel safer with some type of routine. Over the last several days, Captain has developed a ritual/routine for us.
We get the kids tucked in for reading time on their beds. I also go to bed at that time. For that 30 minutes, Captain and I talk ‘real life’, like kids, house, bills, repairs and such. When it’s time, he sends me to stand in the corner. Then he goes and tucks in kidlet#3.
When he comes back, he has me lay across his lap. That is when we talk about us. Our marriage, my goals, my successes, my failures, all about *us*. He talks to me in his hoh voice and lets me know his expectations and rules for me. When I am across his lap, I cannot lie or get away with the half-truths I tell to avoid the things I don’t want to say. It’s much easier when we’re face to face, I can tell half-truths or try and divert the subject. Not so when I am across his lap. (And, yes, I do know this is wrong.) There is no spanking…just rubbing and patting…and a hoh tone in his quiet, powerful words. After 30 minutes, he goes and tucks in kidlet#2. Sometimes he sends me to the corner and sometimes I get to snuggle under the covers and wait for him.
After that, we might go to sleep, or he might spank me for anything I’ve done or just because he says so, lol. So, I know what the evening holds for the first hour or so, but he is still firmly in control of the final outcome. It’s amazing how much I look forward to my 30 minutes. Even though some of the talk is very hard. Even though sometimes it’s my confessions and his lecture and pronouncement of my punishment. Still, those are my 30 minutes.