The evening started off with our normal ritual, me across his lap while he lectured about how damaging my emotions can be to our marriage and the general feel of the house. There was special attention to the hissy fit I had thrown earlier (see previous post). He also told me he would be addressing my two acts of disrespect to him. He rubbed and patted, and I felt very loved…and very scolded.
He had me stand in the corner and wait while he settled down the house. Then he led me to our little desk, and had me bend over it. He started with our medium cane, for the warm up. He kept switching implements between the three thicknesses of canes, a stingy wooded spoon, and finally seemed to take to our ‘bottom burner’ paddle (so named because about ten minutes after being paddled, my bottom heats up and it’s like being spanked all over again).
He let me up, telling me we may not be done but he wanted to talk. I was back on the bed, and back across his lap. I was very grateful for the break. He wanted to make a very firm point on how strongly he feels about my controlling my emotions and not letting my emotions come between us. We talked for a bit, mostly about how I should handle specific situations.
Then he took me back to the desk and paddled me really hard with about two dozen burning swats. I needed it. I deserved it. And I knew it. And I love him for doing it. The slate is clear, we can move forward.
I would have thought that the respect thing would be what he emphasized the most. Nope, I was totally wrong. I most definitely got the message that this is very important to him. And I understand that I will be held most accountable from now on.