Choppy seas and a brisk wind...

Good Grief!  The last two weeks has been a whirl wind.  First I was out of commission with a bad migraine.  It started bad, but I could function.  Then on the third day I crumbled.  I basically crawled to my comfy chair and stayed there for the day.  I could not function.  It was like that for three days.  Then it got better.  Still a migraine, but I could function.
Then it got worse.  A couple more days of not doing much. 

I hate these times the most because I can not write!  I have a general idea for a great post...but actually getting it on paper keyboard is totally beyond me.  It leaves me sad I can't write...and confused because I work out so many of my feelings while writing.

Today, I had a good morning, but I can feel the migriane getting worse.  2 pm seems to be the onset time, so I try to get the most important stuff done during the morning hours. 

And, we are going out of town to visit family this weekend.  So I can add packing and trying to think of things to keep three kids busy in the car for 9 hours each way.  Yes, Missy Kidlet, although 20, still counts as a kid.  MY KID!  No matter how old she is...or how grown up she *thinks* she is.

Ttwd stuff is bumpy at the moment.  Truthfully, I am trying not to feel anything about it right now.  I know my perspective is off because of pain.  Captain and I talked about that, and he's been very patient. 

Last night was my first spanking in many many days.
Last night I slept better than I have in many many days.

Hmmmm.....wonder if there's a connection, lol!

It took a lot...

Namely four spankings over three days.  But our ttwd ship is sailing steady seas once again.

Yes, I knew when I wrote the last blog post, I deserved it.  That didn't stop me from going into self preservation mode when the time came.  And, somehow, I got very stubborn about it.  I have since seen the error of my ways...or more precisely Captain has showed me the error of my ways.

We did work a lot of things through.  And although it was painful, both emotionally and, for me physically, we both came out better for it with a much stronger communication.

Sorry, this is a "fly-by" post, things are so busy here.  I hope to write more tomorrow.  Just wanted to say we are okay, and things are good here.

Ten Word Tuesday

Time for Ten-Word-Tuesday!!!

The more accountable I am, the less time to write!!!

 

So Not Fair!!!!

Addicted!!

So the migraine monster made another appearance at the end of last week. Not fun. 

I was down for all of Thursday and most of Friday.  Then I spent Saturday trying frantically to catch up on my lists.  This was the first week I was accountable to Captain for getting all the list items completed.  Just because I have a list…doesn’t mean I get it done, lol!  Until now.

Sunday we had plans all day.  Stay at home, get things done plans.  We did get a LOT done and I am thrilled with the progress we made. 

BUT!  I had no time for blog writing!  It was maddening!!!  I kept thinking of things to write about, but had no time.  I resorted to making a very cryptic list so I would remember everything.  I just hope I can decode my list, lol.  I’ve finished everything for the day except cooking dinner…so I can FINALLY spend some time writing!!!!!!!!

I am seriously becoming addicted to blog writing!!

 

 

 

 

Ten Word Tuesday

I saw this on the blog A Uniquely Different Life and thought I'd try.  Sorry I didn't link to the blog . . .but Check my blog roll.

Ten Word Tuesday

Up way, way too early, can't sleep, allergies & head ache.

Hmm, let's try another. . . .

Switched, paddled, and caned this week, & sitting tenderly w/ sore bottom!

He,he,he this is fun!

My blog, my rules....symbols and abreviations don't count.  (yes, it's spelled wrong... But I'm too tired to figure it out. . . )

Lol...please don't mind me. . . I'm high on pain meds, allergy meds, and hot tea . . .and I'm sure lack of sleep isn't helping.

Finally!

UGH!  It has been forever since I got to write.  It’s been driving me nuts!  I’ve been dealing with a whopper of a migraine this week.  So while my heart has many thoughts it wants to write, my brain cannot concentrate to make those thoughts coherent.  This migraine has not only been painful but it’s totally messed with my ability to concentrate and my emotions are ALL over the place. 

Today is Friday!  And Today I feel better!

And Today I will WRITE!!!

Yippppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Blogging Questions

I’m getting traffic from referring urls and sites that are not other blogs and not any place I’ve visited.  One is some watch tv on the internet site.  One page won’t open at all.  Should this concern me???

How do you post pictures in your blog?

WHERE do you get the pictures from???

If I find a picture/graphic I want to use on the internet, how do I get it from there into my blog? 

I’m reading a lot of posts I want to remember and refer back to.  Is it okay to make a label for posts I want to remember and link to each of them?  Do I need to leave a comment on the post I link to? 

What is the difference between adding a blog to my blog roll and becoming a follower of a blog? 

Why do some comments go to spam? 

Thanks for the help!!

So the CableGuy was here yesterday...

I must have checked the bedroom a thousand times to make sure there was nothing incriminating visible. 

I am SO not used to having strangers in my bedroom. 

And the whole spanking thing made me super-duper-extra-PaRaNoId!!!!!!!!!!

 

LOL @ myself :-)

 

I LIKE having Sisters!

Well, Blogger Sisters! 

I am painfully short on family…both parents are gone and I am an only child.  We live out in the boondocks, so I am kinda isolated.  And mostly, it doesn’t bother me at all.  Captain has spoiled me with ‘country living’, lol.

Last week I posted about a bump in the road that Captain and I were having.  It was emotionally epic for me.  And I was crushed.  So I wrote about it.  Writing is something I love.  And it really helps me to sort things out. 

After I posted…I got these wonderful comments telling me to TALK to him.  And suggestions for *how* to talk to him.  It really meant a lot to me.  I was really stressed, in pain, and overwhelmed.  And all of your kind words touched me.  And I thought “It’s just like having sisters!”  And as any only child will tell you, having siblings is near and dear to the heart!

So Thank You!! 

Kate

Another rough night & Another long spanking...

Last night was tough, again. I’ve been fighting a migraine for two days and my emotions are on edge and I ended up in trouble.  I am having real difficulties with finding the balance between shutting down totally or letting my temper fly.  All I did was ask a question.  I thought really hard about when and how to ask.  We’re venturing into new territory, and things come up.  I, in no way, meant disrespect or to threaten his leadership. 

I waited till I was across his lap.  I feel like that is my ‘safe’ place.  He rubs and pats, I feel submissive and we talk about us. ( My 30 Minutes).  I ask: “Tonight, when you first got home and had me in the bathroom, you really held back on the swats.  I was wondering why.”

“Are you complaining?” he quips, and follows it with “I could always say what I say at work, Are you complaining or just griping?”

Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma’am.  I am immediately ticked.  Majorly ticked!  I snapped something back about not complaining and being sorry I even asked. 

He goes into this long thing about not letting me lead, not letting me push or dictate what’s going to happen.  And he goes on and on.  I finally ask to be let up because I can’t breathe, which was not an excuse, my allergies are terrible right now. 

We lay there a bit.  I am working hard not to shut down…but not doing well at keeping my tone respectful.  I was really mad, hurt, and…lost.  He took away my safe place.  I felt crushed that he would take my question so…so…not how I intended it. 

So we talk.  I really wanted to know the answer to my question.  Way back, he used to back off on the intensity when I seemed to need it the most.  Usually when I have or am fighting a migraine.  But, we’ve also had had an intense night the night before, and I was sensitive and had a couple of marks/bruises.  I wanted to know if it was that or something else. 

He has to do a final check on the house.  And he sends me to wait in the corner.  He tells me when he gets back, we’re going in the other room (where the desk is).  I balk but go to the corner.  I will not write what I was thinking, standing in the corner.  I want nothing in print to incriminate myself.

He comes back.  I ask for us to be able to talk before the spanking.  He says yes.  I excuse myself for a moment.  I really needed a minute to gather my thoughts.  I come back in the room, and he wants me over his lap again.  Not ten minutes ago, I could not BREATHE over his lap.  I hesitate.  He gets all HOH-y on me.  I obey, grudgingly.  He asks something…  I bite back with something about not being able to think because I canNOT breathe.  He lets me up.

We talk a bit more.  A very little bit more.  Then I take the plunge.  I ask for immunity for the rest of the talk.  I needed to talk this out with him, but I couldn’t with having to watch every single word I said.  He grants immunity.  And I start talking.  Part of this was me…and part was my migraine meds.  They tend to make me talkative and rambling.  We end up sorting everything out.

I do ask him if there is going to be consequence tonight during the spanking.  I would abide by whatever he decided, but I needed to know ahead of time.  He said no, we both have to work on our communicating skills but I was still in for a spanking.  Then he asks me if I need or think I deserve consequence.  I answer honestly…I’m too keyed up to really know.

He takes me in the other room, has me bend across the desk.  He uses my favorite blue cane for the warm up.  I get to request the implements.  We’re still exploring with the new stuff.  He’s thorough but not over intense.  He also gives me a longer than usual spanking.  It was just what I needed.

As always he finishes with several swats with our wooden paddle.  He lets me get up.  I hug him and hold on tight, and ask for more.  I always have been and always will be a multi tasker…especially in my thinking.  These would be consequence swats, although he didn’t know it at the time. 

I didn’t deserve them for what I said.  I, however, did not obey him and I had a generally uncooperative attitude.  He did (said) wrong too.  But this isn’t about what’s “fair”.  This is about him leading and my agreement to follow…whether I like it or not. 

He takes me back to bed and across his lap again this time propped up on pillows so I can breathe.  I explain why I asked for more.  We talk as I get some wonderful aftercare.  And things are once again right in my world.

Capsaicin: The Devil's Paddle

I read about it.  I just had to try it.  I thought I had done enough reading/research.  I still wasn’t prepared for it.  So, if you are reading this, please, PLEASE, take caution when using capsaicin!

Start by testing it first.  I put a small amount on a q-tip and rubbed it into my calf.  I, first, wanted to make sure I wasn’t allergic to it.  And, second, I wanted to see how badly it did or did not sting.  While this test was good, it did not prepare me for having it actually used on my bare bottom.

If or when you have this applied to your bottom, use a small (SMALL) amount!  Use it only on the sit spots.  Be very careful to not get it anywhere else, especially sensitive areas.  We used an applicator thing made for suntan oil/sunscreen to apply it.  Captain used about a pea sized amount on each cheek.   It was more than enough!  It felt like a bare bottom paddling that lasted for hours!  It wasn’t enough to keep me from sleeping but it did interfere with my sleep.  And intensified every time I turned over.  I woke up often throughout the night.

I’ve read that olive oil can stop the reaction.  I also know that water (as in washing it off) will only intensify the sting/burn. 

I also recommend that you have your hoh stay with you.  I don’t think I would have made it through last night without his steady voice there.  He’d ask how I was doing or comment of my wiggling and squirming.  Just his presence helped me take a deep breath and get through it. 

We will not be using this often at all.  I am still glad we tried it, but its way more than I had anticipated.  Please proceed cautiously if you decide to try this.

 **********************************

I waited a couple of days to post this.  I wanted to see how long the effects lasted.  I also wanted a bit of time to gain some perspective.

When I showered that night (about 20 hours after the application), it “reactivated” that evil stuff again.  It’s was like being paddled all over again.  I also noticed it seemed to spread out more.  It wasn’t as intense, but I was still squirming in my seat. 

Please be cautious.

Fun with Anagrams

 I got this from Hermione’s Heart Blog…(Hermione's Heart)

It's an anagram generator and I typed in the name of my blog.

I had a great time narrowing down the 900 plus possibilities…

A Antic Naked Pat – my antics results in naked pats and taps…                                   yep, sometimes

A Antic Naked Tap – see above

A Attack And Pine – sound like Captain after me                                   with a paddle!

A Attack Pain Den – nope, ours happens in the bedroom

A Attack Pain End - yep, I know WHOSE end that will be!

A Attic Naked Nap – YES! PLEASE!...if Captain and I                                    only had an attic!

A Cantata Pinked – My screams in no way sound like singing

A Cap Attend Akin – Captain attends his kin very well, thank you!

A Cap Naked Titan – Captain, the naked titan?                                     Mmmm…the possibilities!

A Captained Tank – A new name for our house?

A Catnap Date Kin – A catnap date with kin…                                   as long as it’s the Captain and me!

A Intact Naked Pa – NOT even going there!

A Panic Naked Tat – looked up tat (tatting): a series of loops                                   & knots joined together to make pretty cuffs                                   & collars (for clothing)

A Panicked Tan At – panicked at a tanning…                                    yes, I have been!

Adapt Cane At Kin – Yes, Captain has adapted his                                    canes at his kin

Attacked Pain An – Attacked, pained, and ??????

Attain Cap Naked – Attain Captain naked…                                  yes, oh yes, please!

Captain Naked At – Anywhere private is fine with me!

Catnap Ate An Kid – sounds like a bad horror movie

Data Cane At Pink – directions for after the warm up?

Data Cane Pat Kin – More directions?

Data Cane Tap Kin – Captain does more than pat or tap!

Panda Can Take It – If Panda can take it, so can I!

Love/Hate this New Thing

One of the new things Captain has started is taking me in the bathroom during the day for several swats.  He waits for the kidlets to be busy and we lock both doors and turn on music when I think of it and turn on the noisy exhaust fan.  Then I have to bend over with my hands on the side on the tub.  He gives me about a dozen pretty hard swats sometimes over my shorts and sometimes over panties.  He might mention what’s going on in the house…like not letting dd “bait” me or the boys not run over me.  Or he might encourage me to get something done in the house.

At first it was awkward.  It’s DAYlight for pete’s sake!  All our spanking happens late at night, in the dark, when everyone is in bed…asleep, we hope…

UGH!  I got stopped midsentence for one of those little trips…so the rest of this will be written by an author with a tingling bottom.  HOW on earth did he know what I was writing about?????

So…where was I?  Awkward…yes, it was…now after 3 or 4 days, it seems ‘normal’.  He uses my hair brush…did I mention it stings like crazy! 

Here’s the incredulous thing!  It works!  Last night I was dreading cleaning the kitchen.  It wasn’t really that bad at all.  I was just dreading and not wanting to deal with it.  The next thing I know, I’m called in the bathroom and given ‘encouragement’ to get the kitchen done.  At that moment I wasn’t particularly grateful for that encouragement.  Afterwards I went and got started in the kitchen…and before I knew it I was happily singing with my music…and that chore I was dreading was done almost before I realized it.  And I got a few extra things done around the house.

I love that it works.  I hate that it works. 

The ABC's of TTWD

I read this on Stormy’s Blog…and thought I’d give it a try.

A       aftercare

B       boundaries

C       careful

D       discipline

E       enough

F       forever

G       grounding

H       husband

I        in love

J        just perfect

K       keep still

L       love

M      many swats

N       not so hard!

O       obsession

P       please

Q       QUIET!

R       ready?

S       spanking

T       it’s time

U       understand?

V       very good

W      we (as opposed to you and I)

X       x-tra love

Y       yours

Z       in the zone

Hmmm....it's been interesting reading everyone's lists.

Lesson Learned Today

There are MANY, MANY great blogs out there...

Please note the expanded Blog Roll in the side bar, lol

Musings from an insomniac mind...

I was awake in the middle of the night last night and couldn’t fall back to sleep.  I was thinking about how much I hate “stingy” implements and Captain had used a particularly stingy brush on me.  And then this rhyme just starts going through my head… 

Kate really hates stingy spanks

From the Captain, her mate. 

From the brush or flyswatter,

She does not like them, not in any number. 

She does not like them here or there,

Or in the house anywhere. 

She does not like red marks across her bottom,

But the Captain sure loved puttin’ ‘em there.

What can I say…I was sleep deprived. J

The Yo-Yo Effect

Tonight I got caught in the yo-yo effect.  I think some of the ladies will understand what I mean.  Tonight I was irritable, cranky, and just out of sorts.  I was dealing with emotions from last night and everything seemed to be getting on my nerves.  And I wanted something to give me back some perspective.  After much internal debate, I decided to ask the Captain for some help, which in our case means a few quick swats in the bathroom, behind two locked doors, with the exhaust fan on, when the kidlets are very engaged in something. 

So I go find him…approach and ask him what he was doing.  We had small talk for a minute…and I escaped, berating myself for being a coward. 

Yo-yo up and down….Wife in and out…

I escaped to the bedroom and gave myself another internal pep talk…determined…I went and found dh again…and I don’t even ask anything this time…I just hug him and leave.

Just call me the yo-yo wife…

More internal berating.  It should not be this HARD to ask.  I am supposed to ask.  I am expected to ask.  And I just can’t.  More internal despair.  Jeeezzzz, I am such a wimp.

So I approach again and hug him and mutter something about help and other intelligible words…and he gets it.  He leads me into our room. 

I am relieved…but I still feel like a yo-yo.